Wednesday, February 14, 2007

St. Valentine's Day

Some of you Architecturalists (and even some Colbinistas) out there might be wondering what I've done for St. Valentine's Day.

Well, for starters, I sent my ex-girlfriend (Carmen Elektra) some flowers a few weeks ago in preparation for today. Today, I got a phone call from her lawyer, so things must be looking up! She never acknowledged me before without whining about how much she misses me. Just goes to show, time heals all wounds, and flowers tests the band-aid.

Then I sat around, watching the President's Truth Address this morning. It was truly riveting!

After a while, I went to work, did my Party-mandated 18-hour work day. After that, I watched a taping of "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" on the History Channel. After all these years, they still don't know why St. Valentine didn't intervene :(.

Then I got on these Internets to nail some people. Unfortunately, much of the Internets is awash in reports of a "plan to get us out of Iraq". Sickened, I gave up (don't they know the Greatest President Ever(!) has the plan perfectly formed in his mind?)... Before I left, though, I found an article (blogged about below), and nailed some liberals hard (in the balls too!), and did a small victory dance (like Stephen did last Thursday to celebrate his favorite song winning a Grammy ("My Humps" by Black-Eyed Peas). That song owns!).

So, as I finish this, I have one thing to say, Nation: You better put more cowbell in my soylent green!

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