Sunday, February 18, 2007

State of the Blog 002

Well, Archinistas, it's time for another "SotB", making this the second in an unknown series of blog updates. As a reminder, here's what it's all about:

From time to time, I'll post an update on what I plan to do with my blog, Architecturalism, any and all websites I create (ie the official ones), and anything else I feel pertains to the above. These updates happen pretty much whenever I feel like disclosing information or hyping up support for a new thing I plan to do. Any and all deadlines are not written in stone, and will be modified whenever it's apparent I'll miss a deadline.

Now, the websites I planned to create will be postponed. I do this because I was graced with an unprecedented 50-hour work week. While the little Party member in me dances, the Architecturalist in me (liberal hippie-type he tends to be at times. Don't worry, I'll soon kill the little bugger and we'll be 110% Party-oriented (instead of 101%)) whines that I really should work on the website and maybe even leave the house for a purpose other than work. As though there's anything else to do...

Second, I'm making a new theme (for Windows) that's patriotic and proud to no fault. It'll feature things I've... borrowed from the Internets (mostly the Republican Internet) and arranged in an star-spangled theme. I plan for it to have custom cursors (who likes the original pointer anyway? Who wouldn't like Lady Liberty pointing the way around these Internets?), a nice desktop wallpaper (bald eagle in front of flag, what more can I say?), a screensaver (with patriotic music in the background), and finally, a replacement boot screen (this'll be toughest to do, but worth it). Can you say "Freem"?

Third, those banners I plan to make are coming along nicely. I'll have them done as soon as I can get into Photoshop again (banned by the liberals for cropping my face onto the body of my future self. As though they can't tell that it's Wikiality, fools!).

Fourth, I realize that I really must re-do this blog's layout. It's fine and all, but seriously, it doesn't have enough gravitas to suit me. I need to really get my banners going and really give this place the uber-ballz it deserves to have (sure, bronze balls of steel are fine, but any more, it seems like they don't shine as much to me).

Fifth, I'll tell you all a secret. As an Architecturalist (and more importantly, the Architect), I can rather well decide what aspects of religion we can do around here. So, I'm announcing to you all (instead of threatening you like a lot of lesser religions) that we will participate in the usual Christian rite of Lent. Nothing big, just give something up for 40 days (and eat as much fish as you can handle. No, sushi doesn't count, it's un-American), and nights and weekends are free (better yet, nights start at 6pm, a full hour before Sprint says so! Days start at 6 am, however)! Now, doesn't that make us a better religion than the inferior Flying Spaghetti Monster deal?

For Lent (re-named Spring Sacrifice), I'm giving up nailing SPs (it's too much work walking around town nailing people left and right (mostly left)). Fortunately, nights and weekends are free, so the threatdown isn't relaxing all that much, mind you. There will also be an exception for obvious Secular Progressivism, so don't be too liberal (better yet, don't be a liberal). My nail gun will still be with me, but I'll only have one clip of nails...

Lastly, I'm declaring a threatdown against Avery, the bloggist who pretends s/he knows what Dr. Colbert is talking about (and operates the Colb-blog). I've had enough going to the site (still a great site) and finding that every other paragraph will end with "That's what I'm talking about!". Seriously, if you had a gut, you'd know that if people don't know what you're talking about after reading an entire paragraph, you obviously wouldn't have to tell people what you're "talking about".

Your "Diet Coke" revelation was so gutless, it just angers me. Only weak-minded liberals drink diet soda! True, Traditionalist Republicans drink only regular soda, (black) coffee (although it could be white, since I don't see color, gender, religion, or much of anything), and energy drinks. We never drink water, diet soda (wannabe water), tea (urine-water hybrid), milk (it comes from the teat of an animal, and that's not right!), or (the worst of them all) "nutritional drinks" (diet shakes, fitness water, etc).

About your mother prying your fingers from the keyboard, since when have you had two hands on the keyboard? Just a harmless question, after all...

Anyway, Avery's getting called out. I look forward to him posting on here, so I can delete his attempts to nail me. It's only fitting after all... Just for him, I'm going to load up my nail gun with a fresh clip.

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