Friday, January 26, 2007

Calling out CraniOcean

Well, I posted on ColbertNation.Com that I'm going to nail CraniOcean for his/her liberal school of thought. Honestly, if he/she/it/they/them/the democratic party has the balls/Thatchers to come here and try to nail me back, I applaud you. Your balls/Thatchers are sixth in greatness, after Dr. Colbert's balls (globes, really) of adamantium, Papa Bear's diamond balls, President Bush's platinum balls, Secretary of State Dr. Condoleezza Rice's gold Thatchers, and my own bronze balls of steel. If not, then I laugh at your lack of balls/Thatchers.

Well, I've called you out, and now it's time to get nailed, hard!

Sites looking great, accessible, thanks. Thanks also for mentioning cigrarette smoking in a favorable light (!) with Mike Wallace. Interesting. I have nothing against cigarettes, I do have something against the legal ban of tobacco in most places. It’s the equivalent to discrimination now against anyone, against, Gays…who are known to practice in private :) I’ve nothing against that–live and let live Mr. Colbert, I say! Look at the recent history of bans on private privileges. it’s interesting that the revoke of smoke was one of the first liberties (privileges actually) to be broadly enforced in the mid 1980s. After that, seatbelts. I could hate smoking, or seatbelt laws, or drug companies, but live and let live. At the end of the day, the revoke of smoke is nothing but good old time discrimination. Why? Once upon a time people of color (not SC) were NOT called Blacks. People need something to discriminate against. Well they could NOT call people of color the “N” word anymore..just Black. :) So it was easy to get everybody behind changing the group to point fingers at now. At the same time, it delivered a master stroke, for smokers tended to be divergent, creative, they would question the status quo, in a Word, great Authors. And what did this mainly do? Benefit the pharma companies even more, of course! Twice the fear (now for non smokers) and so twice the dis-ease (from the stress byprodcuts of FEAR) and twice the revenue! Of course, ther eare those who go all their lives without ever smoking (or being around smokers) and still get lung cancer. Cigarettes don’t kill (the Pharma’s know this–goes back to Homeopathy and the founding of the American Cancer Society) and Second hand Cigarette smoke doesn’t kill–the FEAR OF IT DOES. And the FEAR of not following the law. This opens up a can of logical worms, even to the US military strategy in Iraq, and that’s another post. Smoke or don’t smoke and live and let live. Check it out?

Thank you for the privilege of writing this post, and for a very funny show. You and Daly Rock La Casa tonight! Thanks!

Live and let live is liberal propoganda, something the Party opposes a lot (and as a Party member, I'd suspect Dr. Colbert would be in agreement on this).

The phrase is "live and let die". If we let everyone live, all we'd have is a bunch of liberal hippies running around saying "we're in the wrong war" and "We need an ObamaNation!". That's about as un-American as Jo(h)n Stewart.

What's all this about privileges and liberties? Don't you know that Dr. Colbert is the one who dispenses these things, and as he's remained silent on these things, that must mean he agrees with me: that what you call a "right" is merely something your liberal mind things it needs to live. In fact, all you really "get" in life is the ability to follow Stephenological Colbertism (or Architecturalism) and the right to remain silent while getting nailed.

Now, I agree with you on a few things. First off, the racism that existed in the past and the "need" to continually discriminate against someone is true. My gut tells me this, so it must be true. Unfortunately, you've misplaced the current enemy. Your ciga-Nazi mind tells you that surely, we all want to label smokers as the enemy. If you've ever read a single one of my entries, you'd know that Liberal America (and Canada) is the enemy, and we're silently killing them left and right (mostly left) according to Dr. Colbert's will. The "smokers are bad" thing is just a cover, like the events in 1996 (where Billy Clinton successfully drew attention away from his crack dealing).

Second, I agree that fear is the root of all evil. Unfortunately, without a healthy fear of liberalism, we're all bound to fail sooner or later (look at Mark Foley). So, before you go and pretend that your lack of fear is what's keeping you alive, just remember that it was that lack of fear that got you nailed today. Personally, I just don't know how you do it (get nailed and then act like nothing happened).

I personally smoke 5 packs a day, and not just for the health benefits. Smoking that much keeps me calm while I look at all the liberal hippies out there and shake my head. Without smokes, I'd go postal on them, killing the potential converts before I could save them. I'm also against seatbelt laws, because it lets the liberal idiots survive, and we have more than enough of them.

Now, what about the war policy in Iraq? I personally think the war is going great, and the additional 20,000 troops we're sending are to reinforce the idea to Iraq that they got nailed during the war, and to set up for killing Iran (which will be 50 times easier, as all we have to do is send Jack Bower and a squad of CTU operatives). Unfortunately, in 2007, San Francisco will have to be sacrificed to save the rest of God's Country, but with my gut telling me that they are 99% hippies (and 1% Libertarians), not too many Party members will care about this (see what the troops are for? We knew ahead of time that Jack wouldn't do it right!). I guess that's what we get for not calling on Tek Jansen...

Now, before you go around saying "Rob The Architect, you're a moron", just remember that every time someone gets nailed, someone else looses a nail. So, by wasting this time nailing you, I've lost the ability to nail someone important (like the shemale Hillary Clinton, or those who oppose President Bush's decision to change his name and run for president again in 2008). So, you should thank your lucky self that you had the pleasure of getting nailed by the 8th best nailer on Earth (right after Nathan the Nail-Gunner and Natasha the Nailer, who tied for 7th). If that doesn't suit you, just pack your bags and report straight to Gitmo, hippie!

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